you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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