I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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