what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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