well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ugly people sure do ruin things
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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