How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
