She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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