College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
