After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
