Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
