Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
