I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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