i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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