I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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