So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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