i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
