I can tuck mytits in my pants
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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