The best revenge is premature balding
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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