I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
