party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
