it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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