Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
