No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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