if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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