she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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