This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
