The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
