is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
