If that was your dad, he is hot
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I love you.
Bad choice
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