She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
