Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize