Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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