I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
