i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
