remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I love having hate sex.
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
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I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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