He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
