Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm both gender and math confused
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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