I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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