Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
