Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
