My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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