This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
