Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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