i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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