Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Girls should come with a carfax report
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
