It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize