let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
