I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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