Don't you send me to vm
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
