I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
