somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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