i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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