i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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