just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
