it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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