Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
