they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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