She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
