i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
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