Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
