he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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